Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

My first post, should have been the second post. But looking back, I can see with clearer vision to paint the whole picture, to tell the whole story……..
I intended to put fingers to keys long before now.

I had high hopes of writing and sharing the journey I’ve been on. But as often happens, life got in the way of writing about it!

This post is about the time leading up to the moment I left my family, to return to Australia.

A small number of days ago, I landed once again in the UK, to where my family and I moved over a year ago.

It was 106 days between holding my husband and children.

Hundreds of messages back and forth, and many video calls. 

Many moments of feeling their absence.

“The Leaving” had been an ominous shadow, that followed me around, the long months before.

It cast it’s shadow into all areas of my life, until it was all that I saw.
I forgot to look up.

I forgot to look to the One who knew all the days written for me.

I forgot to trust the One who promised to be with me always, to give me a hope and a future.

I found it hard to trust the One who gave me the children I bore, to look after them and my husband, while I could not.

When I realised I was sitting under the deepest of shadows, there was only one way out.

I looked up……….
My heart cried to the only One who could bring me out from the shadows, into the light.
I realise this all sounds rather dramatic, but in reality, it was.

The One who knew what I needed, placed people in my life to encourage me and lift my vision. I found hope in the looming separation…………much to my surprise.

I decided to see my leaving as an opportunity given to me, instead of feeling like something was being taken from me.

In the weeks leading up to my leaving, I spent a whole lot of time looking up. 

I asked for strength for the coming days, and it was given to me.

I learnt to trust the One who knew what was ahead for me, to give me what I would require.

Not only was I hopeful, but I almost looked ahead with anticipation.

I began to wonder what good things would come out of my travels.
The day of ‘The Leaving’ came swiftly.

I didn’t feel ready, but it was there regardless. Even though my heart fluttered, I felt Strength walking with me.

I took a photo to capture me standing with my children, so I could see how much they’d grown when I returned.

We mostly managed smiles.
I have looked at that picture many times since then……..

Just Write It!