Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

I love talking to people about their dreams and goals for the future. But as I listen, they often tell me of the things that stop them from going after and pursuing those dreams.

It was almost always, fear

Fear of failure. Fear they couldn’t do it. Fear of being laughed at and embarrassed. Fear they weren’t good enough. Fear that it would never be a possibility. Fear they didn’t deserve it… the list goes on.

I have had these same conversations with myself for years, why am I not running after my dreams with all I’ve got?!

I’ve packaged up my excuses to seem like different things; I don’t have time, I’m busy, I don’t have the brain space or the capacity, I’m a busy mum… While these are all valid reasons, the truth is, we make time for what is important to us. When we don’t put value on those dreams in our heart, we don’t make time for them.

If we peel back the various layers of reasons and excuses, isn’t it almost always the ‘fear factor’ at the centre of it?

This blog post is as much for you, as it is for me. Even though I have made baby steps towards my dream of being a published author one day, the shadow of fear still follows me around, lurking at the edges of my vision, whispering doubts in the wind…

So I keep reminding myself;

The dreams we carry within us, are for ourselves, and for those around us. When we finally realise who it is we are, when we allow ourselves to step into who we are created to be, is when we have the greatest impact on the world around us.

Facing the Fear

When we acknowledge the fear, give it a nod and look it in the eye, we stop pretending it’s not there. It’s then that we can begin to make steps toward those dreams, by stepping through the fear and moving to where we want to be.

Courage, dear heart.

– C.S Lewis

The fear will always be there (as much as I would love to completely remove it for all of us!). We can feel it in times of personal growth and stretching, but especially when we move towards our dreams. It’s choosing courage, that gets us through the fear.

While I can’t take away the fear, I CAN remind you; in this context, it’s just a feeling and it will pass. The fearful thoughts you have aren’t truth, just doubts. The fear will diminish over time. Until the next time… But when the next time comes round, you will be ready!

Some practical ways to move beyond fear:

Our brain is a wonderful machine, that we often completely under-utilise. We can use our brain to create new neural pathways and get out of old ways of thinking. We can inject our mind with positive thinking and direct our minds to be more productive.

1. Start with gratitude

Take time each day and think of your life right now, of all the things that you are thankful for; you home, your relationships with family/friends, your pet, your job, the new day, the beauty in the world around you…. say a prayer of thanks to the one who gave it all to you.

Take a look at who you are now, and how far you have come. We are ever growing and changing, but so often we don’t even see it. Take a few moments to compare your current self, to you from a year ago, 5 years ago, and recognise all the ways you have grown and changed. Allow yourself to feel good about that, feel proud of your growth. The best person to compare yourself with – is you!

2. Visualise

Allow your mind to picture where you want to be, what achieving your dreams and goals will look like.

If you are able to, find pictures and print them out, or cut them out from old books or magazines, and put them somewhere you can see them when you want to. You might put them in a frame, or stick them on the wall/notice board/mirror. Using pictures as a visual aid to look at daily, is a great way for you to see and focus on where you are going.

3. Mapping the way

As you allow yourself to spend more time thinking, visualising and dreaming of where you want to be, you give space for your mind to make connections and be working away in the background, on the steps that you need to take.

It might be a great idea for you to start jotting down some thoughts in a notebook, that is specifically dedicated to this goal or dream. What can you do today to begin moving towards where you want to be? You may need to read a book, or take a class. It might be finding someone who you can talk to who can give you advice.

Start writing and planning and dreaming in your notebook, and when you look back in a month or a year, you will see the ways you have grown, overcome, and have made progress to achieving those goals.

4. Sharing the journey

One of the hardest things to do is to say the thing out loud, to name the big goal or the big dream. Because once you do, once you name it, the dream stops being an idea or a hope in your heart, and becomes something you are accountable to.

When I began telling people that I was writing a book and what it was about, I found it difficult. It meant being vulnerable. It also meant that they would start asking me about it, then I was accountable to them to keep working on it and moving towards finishing the book.

Not long ago, I thought about the beautiful friends I like to spend my time with and I began to see a surprising patten. I realised that they are mostly creative souls like me. It wasn’t something I strategically went about doing, but I guess we tend to gravitate towards those who are, in some ways, like us.

Who, in your life, can go on this journey with you? Is there a friend who could be your cheerleader as you take steps? Or is there someone you can connect with and get to know?

5. Positive affirmations

I know it may sound strange, and take a little time to get used to, but when we speak positive words over our life, we are replacing the negative self talk that already happens in our mind.

Your affirmations can be your favourite bible verses, or some great quotes that lift your heart. It could be that you want to change a certain way of thinking, or self talk. Reading these daily, lifts our thoughts and prepares us for the day ahead, reminding us of who we are and where we are headed. Place them where you will see them each day, and speak them out loud to yourself.

How we speak to ourselves, matters.

Do we use encouraging words when we make a mistake? Or are we hard on ourselves and say negative things when we don’t get something right?

Think about it this way; would you speak harshly to a 4 year old for not drawing an elephant exactly right? No! You would tell them what a great job they did and how much you like it. You would praise their efforts so much they would draw another picture to present to you.

The inner person that holds your dreams in that hidden place, think of them as your inner child, learning a new thing. Speak to yourself in the same encouraging way when you try something new, even if you don’t get it right.

We are our own worst critic.

What if we were our own biggest encourager? What if we gave ourselves grace for the times we struggle and find things challenging? Wouldn’t we be more likely to try again if we were kind to ourselves?

Those who have gone on ahead

I have seen a number of friends, friends of friends and people I don’t personally know, chase their dreams despite the fear.

For some, as they charged ahead, their goal took on a slightly different shape than how they had imagined, to their great surprise. For others, it became far bigger than they had dreamed. But for each of them, they began with taking one small step after another.

They have flown with wings, they didn’t know they had.

– Carrie Baker

For those who are further along the journey than us, we look to them and know it can be done. We celebrate their wins, because when they succeed in their goals and dreams, it positively affects the world around them.

So, go on!

• Acknowledge the fear and begin anyway.
• Be grateful for where you are right now, and how you have already grown and changed.
• Visualise and allow time to picture where you want to be.
• Map out the first steps you need to take and the rest will follow.
• Share the journey, take someone’s hand and invite them on the journey with you.
• Use positive affirmations to speak kindly to yourself… because you are amazing!

“What if I fall?“ “Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” – E. H

Face the fear and move beyond it, into all you were born to do.

What are you waiting for?

Thank you for coming to hang our for a while, I would love to hear how you are facing the fear and taking steps towards all those goals and dreams in your heart.

Much love,

Carrie xxx