Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

This is a chapter from the book I am writing called ‘Let Joy In’. I thought I’d share it with you, as I am feeling that it’s time again for me to let joy into my home and writing space. I hope this chapter helps and inspires you!

Do you feel at ease in your living or working spaces? If you take a moment right now, to look around you, or think about rooms you live or work in, do you feel happy and relaxed there? Or do you find that you avoid looking at different areas like the piles on the floor, the cupboard that regurgitates it’s contents, or the things that sit awkwardly because they don’t have a home?

A number of years ago, I felt frustrated at the state of my home. I couldn’t relax, but the thought of doing something about it felt too overwhelming to tackle. Does this sound familiar? I now know that the state of our home or at least my side of the bedroom, reflects my mental state. When I look back at that time in my life, I see now that I had simply let too much ‘stuff’ into my life. It had begun to well and truly take over everything, making my mind chaotic and that manifested in how untidy things got.

It wasn’t just the toys that seemed to somehow multiply over the months, it was my full cupboards pointing their finger at me as well. I found it hard to get rid of something in case I ever needed it.

It was around this time, that I timidly began writing again. I found that my bedroom needed to be tidy in order for me to happily sit at my desk and write. This was when I knew that I needed order in my own space, as well as our home. My children were young, especially the boys, and their toys would manage to spread from one end of the living/dining space to the other. One day I realised this would be my life everyday if I didn’t do something on change it.

I was done with the nagging to pick up their toys, only to have to ‘help’ anyway. I wanted to be able to relax at the end of my day, without needing to tidy the living space before I could switch off. On that day, I left the mess to see what would happen when I refused to nag or tidy up the toys myself. For two whole days, there they stayed, like a million little landmines we had to gingerly step around to get from one place to another. My decision to do what I was about to do, solidified in my mind and I felt the conviction I needed to make difficult choices on behalf of my children and our family.

For one last time, I tidied those stupid toys away, in the knowledge that never would there be an ‘operation tidy up’ of this magnitude, ever again. Once they were in bed, I got a large packing box, a bin liner and some storage tubs. Some toys I threw, I packed a lot into a box to donate and some I kept and put into themed tubs. All their books then featured on the shelves to read whenever they wanted.

The following morning they were a little surprised at the changes I made. I allowed one tub out at a time, (which were kept up high in a cupboard), to play with together and when they wanted to exchange it for another, they had to pack the current tub of toys away first. They had 5 to choose from, of the toys they played with most.

The outcome? The played really well together. Instead of an overwhelming selection of toys to choose from and then just fight over, playtime was simple and happy. They could manage their stuff one tub at a time. It taught them to pack away before getting something else. It made them think about what they wanted to play with and choose together. Surprisingly, there were only three specific toys that came back into the house from the donate box, that they really missed. The rest they really didn’t need.

This also taught me something about myself. With each item that left our house, I felt a little lighter, I felt freer. I realised there was so much that I had stored away of my own stuff, that I totally didn’t need.

Time passed and our big move the UK was looming. We began the long slow process of getting rid of anything we weren’t shipping by giving it away, selling it, or taking it to the green shed to recycle. By the very end, we were sitting on camping chairs, sleeping on air beds and living out of suitcases. It felt so wonderful for those last weeks and days, to feel completely unencumbered by ‘the stuff’.

We shipped only twelve boxes in the end, across the seas to meet us in the UK where we would begin our new chapter. Our daughter, being older, found the letting go process the hardest. The months leading up to our move, we would revisit her things, and again ask the questions; “Can I live without this? Or “Is this something I want to take into this next part of my life?” As the months rolled toward that final sealing up of the boxes to send, she managed to make the choices and filled her own box.

After this experience, my husband and I decided that never again would we have things for the sake of filling up space. Our next home was a 2 bedroom flat, which made it easier to stick to this.

I tell you this long winded story, because this was the beginning for me. The beginning of finding how to let the joy into my home, finding joy in the process of letting go of the stuff. I found the more I had, the more I had to take care of, clean, tidy etc. But the less I have, the more time, space and head space I have to enjoy my life, and do things I want to do… like writing.

The less we have, the less we need to make decisions about, the less choice we have, therefore, it simplifies life. Albert Einstein, had a wardrobe full of the same outfit, so that everyday he didn’t waste time or brain power deciding what to wear. When we own less, there are less things to find a place for in our home and in our lives. Things are nice, but they really don’t make us happy.

I still do need to declutter, and when I begin to feel the stuff encroaching on my life again, I sort a cupboard, get rid of things I don’t need. When I restore order to those spaces, I take control of the things I have.

Decluttering:

Start small, maybe it’s that kitchen drawer full of stuff that doesn’t have a place and you don’t know where else to put it. As you start, you will begin to feel more confident with the process. You will feel more at ease in the decisions on what to do with the things you are sorting. Whether you can find a new way to use it, give it away, sell it, donate it to charity or recycle it if you can. When you find multiples of things, keep one and move the rest on. Also, a great way to make the decision of if you need something is asking yourself this: ‘Have I used it in the last year?’ If not, you can absolutely live without it. As you make the decision to release things and as they leave your house or space, be ready to feel the sense of freedom and relief.

Making better use of space:

Do you have an awkward corner that just doesn’t look right? Or a room that you would like to feel more spacious? Rearranging furniture in rooms, for me is a form of creative expression. I love to change things up from time to time. I find that if I think on it for long enough, I can come up with a better way to use a space, with the things I already have. If there is another piece of furniture I need, I wait and really think about it before I go and acquire it.

After so many years of marriage, my husband knows that I will from time to time (and more frequently than he would ever like) rearrange spaces or rooms in our home. And more often than not, it does actually work better. Also, I love it when we can maximise the use of a space.

During lockdown, I finally convinced my husband that we needed to make changes to our bedroom, to create another space for us to use. As we were all home for months in the first 2020 lockdown, I needed somewhere I could happily go and be on my own for a while, and living in a three bedroom flat with five of us, there weren’t a lot of options.

He was surprised at how much better our room felt with just a shift of the bed one way along the wall (he said it wouldn’t work – Ha!) and made a space for a makeshift desk area and a reading chair in the corner. He was happily proved wrong on this occasion. I actually sit here as I write this, at the same makeshift desk (which is really a two leaf fold-down table) in the same space I made that year. While it is so far from my dream home office/study, it is still the place I go to write.

I follow a blogger and author Erica Layne from the Life On Purpose Movement, she has so many tips and guidance, from how to declutter, to how to simplify your life. Go and check her out!

All that I’ve said can easily translate across to your work space, the place you spend your working hours. I know that for a lot people, they don’t sit at a desk or have one particular place that you work from. But where you can, why not make some positive adjustments to your work space? A desk organiser can keep your stationary bits from creeping across your desk. Is your notice board full? Why not take down all that you don’t need up there, and add an encouraging quote or bible verse, or a picture that inspires you.

I know a lot of work spaces aren’t always conducive to being allowed to make a lot of changes, but why not think of ways you can bring joy to your space. A plant can really make a room feel more alive and welcoming. What changes can you make to your spaces, to let the light in and let joy into those areas of your life?

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, if you found it encouraging please share it with your friends and those in your world. Thank you so much for taking the time to hang out with me.

Please share how you’ve brought joy into your spaces, I would love to hear your stories

Sending you love friend,

Carrie xxx