Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

I wrote about learning to be present during lockdown, a couple of years ago. I published it on another page and completely forgot about it. Rereading since I first wrote it, I feel like it is still so relevant to me. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve said recently, ‘It only feels like a couple of days since I saw you, not a whole week!’, I don’t know about you, but it feels like the weeks are screaming by… if I’m being honest, I don’t like it.

I know that I’ve talked a lot about time recently, but that is because it’s one of our most precious resources. Time is something we can never get back again. (I pray and give thanks to God for it, every single day.) While we can’t stop time, we can learn to appreciate it and slow it down in little ways. One of them is by practicing being present.

It’s so difficult in this modern world to be present, when there is so much to be done, places to be and numerous things vying for our attention. To slow down and be completely absorbed in a moment, can feel like a luxury we can’t afford, because we don’t feel there is enough time.

I think it’s time for me to slow down a little, to practice the art of being present, again. How about you?

Lockdown taught us all about recalibrating the pace of our life, adjusting to fit that season when we spent so much time at home. Why not occasionally do a little check in, to see how the pace of your life feels? You have the freedom to create those pockets of time, as though you have all the time in the world.

Be happy in the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.

Mother Theresa

I began to think about being present, when I became really ill with Covid at the beginning of the first lockdown. The children were brilliant when I was unwell, they were calm and entertained themselves because they needed to. My recovery was slow, and sometimes the only way to spend time with them was sitting or laying down with a book together. Our life went from 70mph to 0 in a matter of two days.

While my husband was extremely busy working and studying from home, there wasn’t a lot I could do in the first couple of weeks. I loved the kinds of conversations I was having with the children, they were long and sometimes quite deep. It was incredible to hear their views on things, what they’d learnt from reading a book and their completely genius Lego ideas. Because I was incapacitated, I was available to be completely present.

There are benefits to learning to be present.

It’s great for your relationships. Whether it’s your spouse, children or friends, when you are able to give someone your whole attention, the way that you listen, interact and just ‘be’ with them, makes them feel loved. You connect with them on deeper level.

You find contentment. By slowing down and taking time to enjoy a moment, or a morning, you are able to engage your whole self into what it is you are doing. You can get great enjoyment and find joy in whatever it is you spend your time focused on.

You make beautiful memories. By engaging all your senses when doing something like going into the forest for a walk with your family, you will recall with clarity the time you spent there, the sounds, colours smells etc. This leads brilliantly into my next point…

We remember the bad things more easily than the good.

I remember a friend talking about the brain’s capacity to remember a negative or traumatic experience, more readily than the pleasant ones. I decided to look into this and found an article in the Washington Post by Allie Caren, she states this:

“Carstensen, who is known for her research on aging, said one school of thought believes that our attention to negative events has adaptive value. She said there’s a lot of information to be learned in difficult or dangerous situations, and that our brains can apply that knowledge when a similar situation presents itself in the future.” You can read the full article here.

As a way of self preservation, our brain likes to hold onto these memories when we experience intense emotions, so we remember. Our brains tuck them away for future reference to keep us safe, in case of similar situations.

Let’s look at the other side of this coin.

When you experience something wonderful, the key to holding onto this memory, is allow yourself to use all of you, to take it in. How do we do this? Here are a few ways:

Your Emotions: As mentioned above, strong emotions have a way of solidifying a moment in life, into your memory. By making yourself aware of how you are feeling in that moment, naming them, you allow your mind to remember them.

Your senses: Your senses evoke memories you didn’t even know you had. The smell of popcorn can take you back to that cinema experience when you were six years old, in a flash. Use your senses to lock away your experience, what can you see, smell, feel, hear, taste?

Take a memento. You can take a little souvenir with you as a reminder, of your memorable time. It can be a photo, a leaf, flower, feather or a stone. Anything you are (legally) allowed to take with you, to place somewhere to display to remember again and again.

They key to remembering the wonderful moments, is to be present.

It takes at least 90 seconds of being in the moment, paying attention and taking in every detail to remember something pleasant. When we allow our emotions to be stirred, whether it’s joy, wonder, gratitude or a deep contentedness, it gives our brain the ability to store it and remember it long term.

In her blog post, Ashley Abramson writes “To remember the moment, you have to appreciate it. Aim to be “all in” when you’re really enjoying something. “Just the act of being more engaged with what’s happening — paying close attention to what’s happening right now — enhances the experience and makes it more memorable,” says Dattilo.” You can read her full blog post here:

Finding joy in the ordinary.

How often do we switch to auto pilot when we are doing the everyday tasks on our to do lists, and we don’t pay attention? 

I totally get that housework and errands aren’t full of beautiful moments, but what if we paid more attention to what is happening around us? I’m sure we’d find some lovely experiences! We don’t have to wait for those special events to be present and pay attention.

As an experiment, I was ‘present’ while making myself a cup of tea… (Who doesn’t love a cup of tea?) I chose my favourite mug and really looked at it, held it in my hands, felt its shape and weight.

I listened to the sounds of the water as I filled the kettle and set it to boil. I got out my peppermint tea bag and smelled it, deep inhalations of its minty fragrance. As I poured the water over the tea bag, I watched the colour change and listened to the sound it made.

And lastly, sat down and watched the steam rise in swirling patterns in the stillness of the moment.

It was a great cup of tea… Not because it tasted better than any tea I’d ever made, but because I took the time to enjoy the process and the drinking of it. I found joy in the simple process of doing this daily thing, because I was fully engaged.

I know that doing this every moment of every day is completely unrealistic, (especially when you have children) but why not choose one thing in your day to be fully present for. Maybe story time with your children, snuggle close and smell their hair, feel the weight of them as they lean against you, watch their face as you talk about the story. Or while cooking dinner, feel the shape of the knife in your hand, feel the texture of the vegetables, taste them as you chop them. Hear the sizzle of the pan and smell the flavours come out as you stir.

Or maybe something as simple as making that cup of tea…

Life always passes us by more quickly than we’d like. Why not slow down occasionally?

Why not allow your brain the time it needs to store away those wonderful moments, so that when we look back over our day/week/year, there will so many more beautiful memories to recall? Could you create a new routine so all distractions are turned off and your attention turned towards those you love for a set time? Or you could even step out on your own for some contemplative solitude?

What if as a result, you find more joy and pleasure in your life than you thought possible?

Linger over a sunset, savour that glass of wine, drink in the sight of your loved ones, slowly eat that piece of chocolate, fully absorb the life the Good Lord has given you, with your whole heart.

Before you leave me to go and be present in your own amazing life, can you do something for me? Can you like and share this post with your friends and social pages?

I would love to hear from you, please leave me a comment and let me know how you like to be more present, or what you thought of my post.

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I am here, to champion your personal growth, encourage your goals, and cheer you on as your reach for your dreams. You can do this.

You can find all the place I hang out here.

Sending you love, friend,

Carrie xxx

Photo Credit :: David Mao / Unsplash, WordSwag