Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

“Begin your day with an ‘I get to’, mentality instead of an ‘I have to’ thought process, … I GET to go to work. I GET to have a busy day. Whatever it may be. We often dress our opportunities as stress, but they are in fact blessings.”

– Dr Caroline Leaf

Mic drop. Did that just blow your mind a little? That’s a big statement.

This is a challenge I want to extend to you, to make this one small adjustment in the way you think or communicate about some things in your life. This small thing has the possibility of changing the way you see so much of your everyday.

Let’s unpack this a little.

Sometimes the biggest outcomes in our life happen, when one small thing changes.

I want you to do something for me. Think about the usual things on your weekly To Do list. You know, like cleaning the bathroom, doing the grocery shopping, filling up the car, cooking meals, going to work, etc. When you think about all those things you need to do in your week, how does it make you feel?

Yep. It feels like there are so many things to get done. Most of the time you can’t really be bothered, or want to do them, and you don’t always have the time to. But you do them, because the are necessary and you are the grown up now and this is your life. I want to give you an opportunity to begin to feel differently about the things that seem like a ‘have to’.

Like a lot of people, I’ve wrestled with not being naturally gifted in the domestic department. All the things that need to happen to keep everyone fed, clean and clothed, is not really something I enjoy. The cooking I have grown to love more, as it’s time for me to sing, listen to music or a good podcast. As our kitchen is small, there isn’t a lot or room for the lurkers to lurk when I am bustling around making dinner. I have found it is some blessed ‘me time’ in the evening.

But the rest of it, I could happily outsource if it were an option. Do you sometimes feel a little weighed down or even resentful of your increasingly long To Do list? I hear you. It seems never ending, can be thankless and can look like you didn’t do it all, if you’ve got kids or a messy housemate.

Inspiration.

I began making the mental shift in my life, in relation to these endless tasks, when reading a book recently. It was a book by Alyssa Joy Bethke, called Satisfied. She is a Christian author and wrote her book from her current situation as a busy mum of three young children. She was struggling to find joy, or contentment in her life and often felt frustrated at the season she found herself in.

As I read her book, so many things she said, spoke directly into situations and things I was feeling. There was one place in the book (page 150 if you want to read it), where she was sharing a conversation she’d had with her friend. Her friend Carly told Alyssa that during lockdown when so much was going on and ‘emotions were already a bit shaky’, her son made a mess of cheese in the kitchen. Her first response was, ‘Oh great. Now I have to clean up this cheese.’ But then she paused and thought about it, then told herself, ‘No, I get to clean up this cheese.’

This story may not be relatable to your life at all, with the kids and the cheese, but don’t stop reading and run off, I want you to really grasp this.

By rephrasing ‘I have to’ to ‘I get to’, she completely changed her attitude toward that situation. She made a mental shift, that changed the way she saw that moment, and a lot of things after.

I want to be honest with you for a moment…

When I read this particular part of Alyssa’s book, the reason it spoke so loudly to me, was because I really needed to hear it. I was feeling very much fed up with all my ‘have to’s’, and feeling very ungrateful about a lot of it. Those words helped to rephrase some of the words I speak over my life, and reframed the attitudes I felt towards it.

It even reminded me to practice gratitude. The words ‘I get to’, suddenly became ‘Thank you for’. I remember one particular cold and windy Saturday, our family went out for a walk, and the kids were just complaining. They were grumpy before the mention of a walk, and grumpier when they were told they were coming. I have to say my mood was a little on the fed up side.

In my mind I spoke the words, ‘I get to go for a walk with my family’, and the feeling shifted a little. Then other thoughts came, ‘Thank you Lord, that we live here in this coastal town. Thank you for my family, and that they are healthy. Thank you for the good things I have in my life. Thank you that I get to work, and we have enough.’

Switch.

Words are powerful, and the words you speak over your life, and over yourself, are powerful.

Words can shape the mindset with which you step out into your day, or change the course of your life. Words can change the way you perceive things too. By switching the words, ‘have to’, to ‘get to’, we change their meaning to us.

Opportunity.

When you say ‘I get to’ about something you need to do, you are saying; ‘I can,’ or ‘I am able to…’. This then becomes an opportunity, instead of a loathsome task. It might be making dinner for your family, doing the grocery shopping, cleaning the bathroom. When you change the language around these tasks, you are able to expand the meaning from that task, towards opportunity.

The things that appear on your To Do lists are opportunities to serve and love others, and be a good steward of what you’ve been given.

Gratitude.

By saying ‘I get to’, you are also saying, ‘I get to do this because I am fortunate enough to have…’, to have food to eat, money to buy food, to have a bathroom, a job to go to or a home to clean. By saying ‘I get to’, you are giving yourself an opportunity to practice gratitude; to be grateful for the things you get to do, because you can and because you are privileged enough to have the means to.

I don’t know about you, but it makes me realise that there is so much we can all take for granted.

Choice.

When you say ‘I get to’, it changes the language from, ‘I don’t have a choice’ to ‘I have a choice.’

Sometimes it can feel that you don’t have a choice in a lot of things you need to do. You do have a choice in the things that need to happen to facilitate the blessed life that is yours. By changing your language around your list of things to get done, or your busy day or week, you are reminding yourself that you have a say in when and how.

“We often dress our opportunities as stress, but they are in fact blessings.”

– Dr Caroline Leaf

Action

It is widely researched, that practicing gratitude is good for you.

Your thoughts of gratitude may or may not form themselves in a prayer like mine, but when you speak out your gratitude, it shifts something inside of you. It moves your focus from whatever it is that you’re not feeling happy about or satisfied in, to seeing all the great things you are blessed with. Count your blessings and feel the gratitude, it will give your outlook on life a wonderful make-over.

Sometimes it helps to verbally say things out loud to yourself. If you find that you are beginning to feel like the ‘I have to’s’ are creeping in, speak it to yourself: “I get to”.

Encourage others in your home or in your life, to help them shift their mindset.

Talk to your children about all things they get to do, because they can. They get to clean their room and tidy their toys, because they are blessed to have a room and things to play with.

When your friend starts to grumble about this or that, why not lovingly challenge them a little? Those words might be just the gift they need to give them a better perspective on their life.

Is there anyone you think of, who would benefit from reading this post? Feel free to share it with them today.

Thank you for being a part of my community! Thank you for encouraging me with reading and commenting on my blogposts, and for sharing them out there in the world.

Sending you love, Friend,

Carrie xxx

I am here, to champion your personal growth, encourage your goals, and cheer you on as your reach for your dreams. You can do this.

Carrie Baker

Photo credit :: Pixabay/Wordswag