Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

In case you missed last week’s blogpost, you can catch it here, I spoke about the need to live within your season, specifically the natural seasons. How they affect you and recognising what you need in each of them.

This week I want to talk to you about living within your personal season.

If you have read any of my other blogposts, you will know that I talk about personal growth a lot, and you would be correct in thinking that I am passionate about it.

Why am I passionate about personal growth? Because we are creatures of constant change. Even when proactively try not to, we still do.

Our bodies are always ageing or regenerating, cell by cell. Life is constantly changing around us, and every choice we make, is shaping the person we are becoming and the direction our life takes.

I spent a lot of years letting life happen to me, instead of being intentional about who I was becoming and where my life was headed.

In last week’s blogpost, Part 1, we looked at knowing your season, by asking yourself questions.

The older I get, the more I realise that there is so much I don’t know, and there is so much that I am learning about me. Sometimes I feel like a mystery to myself. (Is it just me that feels like this?) As I get to know myself, I ask questions that will help me to know what I need, to do life well.

Let’s take a look at the different personal seasons in life.

If I were to ask you right now, before we get into it, would you be able to tell me what season you are in at this moment? Or do you just carry on, year in, year out regardless?

A few examples of changing seasons might look like this: If you are a new mum or a mother of young children, you can’t possibly live as though you are the person you were before you had children. Just as someone in their mid life, can’t keep the same long hours they did in their twenties.

Maybe you are going through a health thing, which stops you from doing all the things you did before. Or perhaps you are struggling in a relationship or with your mental health, and you need a little more space in your life to work through things.

You might have intuitively made some changes to your life already, or maybe you are just carrying on as you always have, and wonder why you feel so exhausted and overwhelmed!

When you know the season you are in, you can: know what you need, be prepared, make better decisions for yourself and your family, take better care of your body, and give yourself opportunities to flourish.

So let’s ask some questions to find what season you are in, and think about what you need. (Why not grab a notebook or your journal, as you answer these questions, you might like to write them down.)

What time of year is it?

– Summer

– Autumn

– Winter

– Spring

What time of life are you in?

– Young and carefree

– I am single

– I have a young family

– I am at the mid point of life

– I am older with less family responsibilities

– I am retired

How is your capacity?

– I am overwhelmed with my commitments

– I have time to give

– I don’t have enough time

– I need more in my life

– *Insert your own here

What does your life demand from you from these areas?

– Your work

– Your home

– Relationships

– Family

How is your health at the moment?

– Doing great

– Low energy

– Having health issues

– I am slowing down

– I think I need to rest more

How is your mental health?

– I am doing ok

– I am struggling

– I have more good days than bad days

– I don’t really think about it

Now that you have gone through the list, and maybe made some notes, think about what you and your body need in this season. Do you need more personal challenges, or less responsibilities? Do you need more time to sleep or a better routine? What would help you in the areas where you’re not doing so great?

Here are some other major seasons we can go through at various times, this list is not exhaustive:

Grief and loss.

This season can come out of nowhere or slowly approach, and can stay with you for years. As difficult as this season can be, allow yourself to live in it, walk through it, take each day as it comes. As the poet Robert Frost wrote; ‘The only way is through’.

By understanding what you need in this season, you can make it a little easier on yourself, giving yourself the space, time and rest that you need. Maybe you need to let something into your life too. By asking yourself the questions, you can begin to understand what you need in this time.

Parenthood in all its various seasons.

Parenthood in every season has many challenges, even when they leave home you are still their parent, it’s just that when they are grown up you can’t fix their problems anymore. Your role is then to support them as they work it out for themselves. Parenthood is often a juggle of so many other things, and even in this big season, it is made up of many smaller ones.

Mid life.

Your body hates you, well, that’s how it often feels at least. It can be a confusing time for anyone at this point in their life, maybe more so for women who are going through the big change of life.

But the great thing about this season, is that you have a clearer idea of who you are, you tend to care less about what people think of you, and you can feel more confident in who you are. You often have a little more time to yourself as your children are more independent.

Early adulthood.

You have energy and often more time on your hands than you realise. You have less responsibility that you may have as you get older. This can be a golden age, maximise all those beautiful resources you have.

Later life.

The later years of life, can be really busy with grandchildren, working, volunteering or chasing your own interests. Sometimes it can feel that your time isn’t your own when your family need you. Perhaps your health is difficult and you have to take life at a slower pace that you want to. There is so much ahead for you, don’t talk yourself out of opportunities in this season of your life, the world needs you.

Hardship.

Life sure does throw us a curve ball out of nowhere sometimes. By recognising that these things will take up more energy, capacity and brain space, you will need to allow more space in your life to navigate this time. You can’t expect that you will still be able to operate at the same level during this season. Have grace for yourself, take lots of deep breaths and take each day as they come.

Growth.

This can be such an exciting time in your life and when you are being intentional about it, this season will make a regular appearance. Maybe you have a new job, or you are pursuing a goal or a dream. When you’re in this season, you will need to keep in mind that learning new things, stretching yourself and stepping outside of your comfort zone, can be tiring. Being prepared can help with those days when you feel more drained, and need to recover.

Survival.

In this season you feel like you are just keeping your head above water, and you can’t even contemplate adding anything more to your life. These seasons can feel overwhelming, and seem as though they will last forever… they won’t and you will get through it! Say no to all the things you don’t need to do, say yes to help, outsource if you can, and the housework can wait.

. . . . .

In my life, I’m learning to lean into the seasons, whether they are the natural seasons or my personal ones. Do I always practice this well, with patience and grace for myself, or the season? No. But I am learning to. As I do, I find that I’m not just gritting my teeth through the hard seasons, but growing and changing with them.

There are more season that could be listed, this is to get you thinking of your own that you’ve been through. what would you add to this list?

Have grace for yourself.

You are a beautiful creation, life is hard and the tricky seasons can be long. You are doing your best and that is enough. You are enough, just as you are.

The difficult seasons can bring out the worst in us on the hardest days, but on those days remember that tomorrow is a new day, you can begin again.

Here are some things to think about, to help you to live well within your season.

• What can you do, to simplify your work and life schedule, to allow a slower pace and more times of rest when you need them?

• Are there things in your schedule that you need to cut out?

• Are there responsibilities you can pass on to someone who has the capacity?

• Can you delegate some tasks at home that you can share with someone else?

• Are there relationships that you need to let go of?

• Do you need to let more joy into your life?

• Can you make more time for the things that fill you up and give you energy?

• Who can you talk things through with, when you get a little stuck in your own head?

• What daily affirmations can you speak over yourself, to be kind and generous to yourself in this season? Write them down and say them out loud each day.

There is a season for everything, a time for everything.

Faith is important to me, and I often find so much wisdom and comfort in the words I read in the bible. Even though it was written so long ago, it is still so relevant to life today. If you haven’t seen them yet, I do a daily post each day, with a bible verse, a thought and a prayer for each day.

In this chapter in the bible, Ecclesiastes, this next section is from Chapter 3 verses 1-8, it talks about our seasons in life.

1. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6. A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Purpose in the season.

I love how it says there’s a purpose in every season. Just like there is purpose in the natural seasons, as they turn from summer, to autumn, winter to spring. There’s purpose in our seasons, and sometimes with our human eyes, we can see it.

Often, when I was going though a difficult season, I would battle against it, struggle with it and feel resentful of it.

I don’t know about you, but in the past I have sometimes blindly expected that the happy, stable seasons I found myself in, would last forever. With time and age, I now see that the varying seasons are a part of life

I am learning to take a step back from it, in the middle of a tough season, or even take a look back over my shoulder when I’ve come through it. When I look, I can see where I’ve have grown. I can recognise when I’ve overcome things, or that even in the hardest times, I found some gold that came out of that season.

When I look back over those hard seasons, I can see where God has been able to use what I have been through, to walk that season with others. The Lord held me and carried me through those times, took the bad and turned it around to use for good, giving me grace for others and loving them in their difficult seasons.

In summary:

• Learn to live in your personal season.

• Recognise the season you are in.

• Ask yourself what you and your body needs, to do well in that season.

• Have grace for yourself

• Lean into your season and know you can learn from it and find purpose in it.

What are you learning in your season?

I am here, to champion your personal growth, encourage your goals, and cheer you on as you reach for your dreams. I want to help you become the best version of you, that you can be, starting with living within your season.

Thank you for spending time here, I am so glad you did. Before you go, I would love it if you could like my post and share it. I’d also really love to hear from you, so go and leave me a comment! And you can find all the places I hang out here.

Sending you love friend,

Carrie xxx

Photo Credit :: Fallon Michael / Unsplash/WordSwag