Do you ever look at the progress others are making in life, goals or achievements, and suddenly think “I am so far behind”?
I can relate.
Maybe you set yourself some New Year’s resolutions, or goals for the year ahead, and somehow you already feel like everyone else is miles ahead of you.
It’s frustrating isn’t it? Seeing others charging on while you feel like you’re floundering somewhere back here. You look at the yawning gap between where you are and where you want to be, and maybe you feel a little like giving up.
I hear you. Do you want to know something else too? You aren’t alone. I know that there are so many who feel like this – right now.
So today, this is a little pep talk just for you, because that thing you want to pursue is worth it, and so are you.
I have a few simple things to help you to climb out of the little pothole you find yourself in, to lift your eyes and set you back on track.
Ready?
Comparison and Expectation
When you look at how well others are doing with their goals or their progress, you can fall into the trap of doing two things:
The first one is comparison.
We all know we shouldn’t, and yet we still do it. We compare ourselves with others.
Some of the people you follow on social media will give out some ‘easy’ advice on ALL the things you need to do, to be X,Y, Z. They seem to be doing it all and absolutely smashing it!
Then you look at your smaller attempts and see how much further you have to go. And you feel it somewhere in your gut… that pull of disappointment.
(They have a team of people working behind the scenes, they don’t do it all FYI.)
We know that comparison is the thief of joy, and I know you want more joy in life, not less. So my friend, please be kind to you, and stop comparing.
The second thing is unrealistic expectation.
Another thing that happens when you measure yourself against someone else, is that you put unrealistic expectations on yourself. Your life and set of circumstances are not the same as anyone else’s. To expect that you can do things at the same level/capacity/ability as ‘what’s-their-name’, is being unfair to you.
Your self worth isn’t dependent on what you can and can’t do, or how you measure up next to this or that person. You are an amazing creation just as you are… even before you’ve had your first cuppa or a shower!
Friend, keep your eyes on your page, stay in your lane, run your own race… not someone else’s.
Focus on one Thing
I know that you are probably amazing at multitasking, but if you really want to achieve your goal, trying to do ALL the things at once, isn’t going to help you get there.
I remember on one of my writing days, I made a long list of all the things I wanted to achieve by the end of it. In all the time I had set aside for writing that day, guess how much I got done? Hardly anything, and it was really frustrating!
I spread my attention between too many thing and don’t do any of them.
Think about the main thing you want to work on, and make that your priority. Just commit to working on that goal consistently, before you think about adding another thing to your plate.
Layer your Goals
One thing that I have learnt in the last few years, (which has helped me enormously) is to layer goals.
Think of it as like building a tower of wooden blocks. You have to add one brick at a time, and if they are different shapes and sizes, you have to think about where, when and how to add each of them.
You will want to take care as you build, so that it doesn’t fall due to poor design. We are a little like that. Add too many things at once and we can fall apart.
Anything you want to take on, begin, or build, often requires you to add it into your existing life in some way. This may require you to shift your routine, adding something on top of what you do already.
When you can be comfortably consistent in one thing, you are ready to add in another. Take me for example; I write a daily post. I committed to doing that every day. Then when I felt that I could, I began doing a weekly blog post. Once I could cope that extra layer, I began to do reels and other posts. I gradually added all this in and around my busy day job and family life.
Build carefully. Grow slowly. Establish consistency. Repeat.
See your goals or the things you want to achieve, as layers of bricks, that you are adding to your life one by one. Understanding this concept will help you to add layers, to stay standing, and continue to grow.
Grow your Capacity
As you layer your goals/targets, and add new things to your life, you are stretching your schedules and routines so that your life can encompass them. This takes time and paying attention to how you feel after adding each extra layer to your life.
I remember when we had our first child, she was easy, independent and made us eager to add to our family. When I compare my capacity as a mum of one, to me now as a working mum of three, my capacity had to grow with my children and the responsibilities I added to my life. (Side note: the only person you should compare yourself to, is YOU.)
If there was some way I could have shown that young-mum-of-one version of me, my life now, I think she would be shocked! I thought my life was busy and overwhelming then! Yet somehow, here I am, my life busier than it’s ever been and I can spin all the plates. (Which have all been carefully selected and thought through when added.)
We grow as our life grows, our capacity stretches around it. But be careful, it can sometimes be a delicate balancing act.
Know your Limitations
The different seasons of life, bring with them different limitations. I have written a blog post recently, about Living Within Your Season Part 1 and Part 2.
These talk about knowing your season, how each of them will affect you, and how to make the right choices for you in each of those seasons.
By knowing your current limitations, and I say current, because we are always growing and changing, you can decide how and when to add new layers to your life.
Some seasons of life are difficult, and can be very limiting. When I was younger I often found myself battling against the confines of them, and it was such a waste of my energy.
As you learn to accept your seasons and all their (mostly) temporary limitations, you can make wise decisions as to what is and isn’t possible. This will be so beneficial for you.
Achieve what you can, Today
When you look at all the days and weeks coming, and think about all you need to do, or want to pursue, it can all feel overwhelming. It can also be extremely demotivating.
When I choose to take life one day at a time, doing what I can today, I feel more at peace with life. I manage to achieve more because I’m not dreading things days from now, wasting my energy or taking up head space. I find I enjoy life more, and feel more at ease in myself, when I do.
Another thing that helps me when it all feels too big, is to pray. I ask for help from God, to give me peace, to get things done and for strength. There have been so many days where this has gotten me through.
There is a beautiful verse in the bible that talks about not worrying about tomorrow:
“Refuse to worry about tomorrow, but deal with each challenge that comes your way, one day at a time. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”.
Matthew 6:34 from The Passion Translation
Whether or not you have a faith, there is a lot of wisdom in this verse, and actually the bible itself. We are in today, deal with this day and do what you can do, today. Our tomorrows will take care of themselves.
Often we can exhaust ourselves worrying about getting things done, or not reaching this target or that goal. By wasting our energy on worrying, we can even delay or slow ourselves down in the progress we are so desperate to make.
How many times did you find that you spent all that time and energy worrying, for those concerns to be completely unfounded?
A wise woman and holocaust survivor Corrie Ten Boom once said:
‘Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow, but it empties today of strength.’
– Corrie Ten Boom
Before I let you go, to get on with those important things you want to achieve, let’s have a quick recap:
- Comparison and Expectation: Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, stay in your own lane, keep your eyes on your own paper. You are doing a great job of running your race, and don’t let comparison make you believe anything else. Be kind to yourself.
- Focus on one Thing: Be consistent with one thing before you add another layer, you don’t have to do all the things at once, right now.
- Layer your Goals: When you can be consistent with each new thing, you can add in another slowly as you feel that you can.
- Grow your Capacity: Be aware of how your feel after adding layer, your capacity can stretch and grow, but be wise and do it gradually.
- Know you Limitations: Life comes in seasons, know your season and the limitations it brings, so you can be wise in what you take on.
- Achieve what you can, Today: Don’t worry about tomorrow or the days to come. Live in today, do you what you can today and tomorrow will take care of itself.
Friend, you are doing brilliantly, keep going! I hope this blog post has encouraged you and helps you to manage all the amazing things you want to do.
Feel free to share this on your socials or with a friend. I love to hear from you, let me know if you liked it and drop me a comment below.
If you want to see my other accounts, you can find those here.
Sending you love friend,
Carrie xxx
Carrie Baker - The Growth Collective 
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