Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

Does the thought of failure, ever stop you when it comes to trying something new, reaching for a goal or chasing a dream?

We are told that failure is a normal part of life, but why is it seen in such a negative way? Why is it that we want to avoid it, and even fear it?

“The only real failure in life is the failure to try.”

– Anonymous

Think of one really successful person for a second, and picture them in your mind. That incredible human, who reached the highest peak of their mountain, needed to learn to be good at failing. Their journey to that place of success, has seen failure.

Do you want to hear something that won’t make your day? You are going to fail.

You aren’t suddenly going to arrive at the target you are aiming for, without first having some flops and failures along the way.

As I have heard it said many times, success isn’t linear. It’s not a straight line from here to the goal. It is like a big old squiggly line, that eventually (if you stick with it) ends up reaching the top.

Doing new things, causes those feelings in the pit of our stomach, the discomfort at stepping to the outer edges of our comfort zone, and the possibility of falling flat on our faces. Those feelings make us want to run over the hills and far away.

Let me ask you a question: Do you want become someone who is good at failing, so that you can grow and do all that you hope to?

I was hoping you’d say that! Let’s go…

Don’t let the fear of failure stop you

Failure is a natural part of life. It is also a part of what makes us human. We are born being completely reliant on those around us. We aren’t born knowing how or walk, speak or read. We spend a lot of our early years, trying and failing, trying and failing, until we finally get it.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

– Winston Churchill

If you watch a baby trying to take their first unaided steps, they don’t give up the first time they topple over. They are the perfect picture of determination, and are so resilient, they never give up. I wonder at which point in our growth, or life, we become adverse to failure or making a mistake?

We are great ruminators are’t we? People like to think and overthink every possible scenario, in the hopes of feeling prepared. I don’t encourage thinking about all the ‘What If’s’, or begin catastrophizing about the worst possible outcomes. When you do this, you talk yourself out of ever trying anything. You may even talk yourself out of the thing that you set out to do.

Change up the playlist of thoughts on a constant loop in your mind. Try instead, to think of all the ways it could go right, and allow your mind to imagine what it will be like when you succeed! Your mind is a powerful thing, take the path of positivity, and don’t allow fear to stop you.

Failure makes you stronger

Think of how the wind and weather promotes strength in trees. Wind makes a tree send its roots deeper down into the earth. This is to support the weight above ground, so it can’t be blown over. It also causes the tree to grow ‘Stress Wood’, which prevents the tree from growing in a way that would hurt it.

When we fail, it forces us to dig deeper within ourselves, to those deep layers where our grit and determination live.

We also grow our own stress wood, when we try something that doesn’t work, we know not to go down that road again.

Failing helps us to develop a stronger sense of self-confidence and self-worth. When we learn to accept and embrace our mistakes, we get good at it and we’re not afraid to try or fail at something new.

“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.”

– Og Mandino

Learn to be more like the trees, bending in the wind. If they don’t bend when the strong winds blow, they would break. Failure isn’t meant to break you, it’s meant to strengthen you.

Failure presents you with an opportunity to grow

Failure gives you an opportunity to change and adapt. It gives you space to rethink and evaluate your path, and is a timely moment to make the right choices.

Growth comes when you face and overcome difficulty, which also creates a greater resilience.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

– Henry Ford

It can be a great motivator as well. When you are focused on reaching that goal or striving for that dream, failure doesn’t have to stop you in your tracks. You can use failure, to push yourself toward your target, with greater purpose.

When you learn to fail well, you learn to get back up, brush yourself down, and say “Ok, what next?”. Failure gives you a chance to start over. It may be that you need to head in a new direction, or you just somehow change tack. Failure is often a catalyst for a shift in the right direction.

Failure is a part of the journey

“Failures are the stepping stones to success.”

– Thomas Edison

You need to have a mental shift when it comes to failure. When you see failures for what they, you will recognise that they are in fact, a necessary part of your journey. A failure can determine the next step you take, most likely one you wouldn’t have otherwise considered.

Accept that failure will stand alongside your success, because often, you can’t have one without the other.

Failure enables you to pivot

Sometimes I look back at my own life, and see how the failures in my life, actually orchestrated the perfect turning point I needed. Was it all planned that way? Of course not! But the plans I had for my life, needed to keep moving forward.

When I look back, I can see where failure and those instrumental pivotal moments, met. From where I stand now, it feels as though it was meant to happen that way.

A failure just might be the thing you need, to course correct your journey. So the next time you face one, examine it and see what it is that you can learn from it, and if it requires you to pivot.

(Every time I read that word I think if that Friends episode with the couch.)

Failure is not the end of the world

The moment you meet failure, isn’t the moment to give up and walk away. You might feel that all hope is lost, you gave it a go, and then you leave it laying where it didn’t work out.

Have you ever been for a drive and managed to get a little lost on the way? Did you give up at that point and just go home? Or did you find a lovely place on your accidental wrong turn, you’d have never otherwise discovered?

“Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.”

– Zig Ziglar

Let me tell you about the night my husband proposed to me.

I had no idea about what was happening, or where we were meant to be going, until the moment we hopped off the ferry and he said, “I think we got off at the wrong place.”. We were both very much in need of the toilet and went look for a place for dinner where we could first use the bathroom.

I don’t know what his original plan was, but we ended up at this beautiful little restaurant. It was just the two of us for most of our meal and we were well looked after. When we left the restaurant, we walked back to wait for the ferry, and that is when he proposed. It was just the two of us, overlooking the city lights across the bay, reflected on the water. It was perfect.

I am glad he didn’t give up the moment it didn’t go to plan. He went with it, even though it could have felt like he failed. It probably worked out even better than his original plan.

Failure teaches us to trust the process

“Courage, dear heart.”

– C.S Lewis

Learning to trust the process, even when it feels like everything is going wrong, takes an element of faith. We have to take those first steps after failure, with courage and hope that it will all work out.

I’m going to share a secret with you… If it wasn’t for my faith, I would have given up on my dream and this whole writing malarkey, a long time ago.

I have this passion to write and create, this desire to help others to live the life they are made for, which I believe is God given. He is the one who gives me courage for the hard days, and strength for when I don’t have it, to keep going.

If you feel like you could do with a little encouragement or divine intervention, say a simple prayer. It might be something like this:

‘Lord please give me what I need for today. Please give me courage, strength, and wisdom, to do this well. In Jesus name, Amen.’

I can’t count the times that I have prayed these kinds of prayers, and every time there has been an answer, or an open door.

Did you know that the Lord has surrounded me with beautiful friends for the journey? He has brought amazing people into my life, who’ve been so integral in my journey, each of them playing a part.

I have heard it said somewhere, that when you chase your dream, (the thing inside you, that you absolutely have to pursue) that the universe will conspire with you to make it happen.

Well, I call that power, God. The one who created the universe and all that is in it. He is the one who conspires to make these things possible, because it’s what he wants for you. He created you for this purpose. And if that is true, then you can never really fail, if it’s his good and perfect plan for your life.

You can then look at all the bumps and dips in the road, as being just a part of the journey, shaping and growing you in preparation for all that is to come.

You need to give yourself permission to fail. And then to fail again. Do you know what? The journey you take and the success you accomplish, will be all worth it in the end. Here is a previous blog post I wrote You Have Permission, go and have a read.

You are an incredible human, with so much to offer those around you. There are things in you, that you need to share with the world, because we need it. I hope this blog post has encouraged you, and gives you confidence to keep reaching for those amazing dreams.

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As always, thank you for hanging out with me.

Sending you love friend,

Carrie xxx

Photo credit :: WordSwag / Pixabay