Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

I know I haven’t posted anything in months – sorry!!
Life has been busy and noisy and whole lotta crazy!

Right now I’m at the dining table with all three children at home. And by ‘home’, I’m talking about a two bedroom flat. My (nearly) four year old, is yelling at my five year old (boys honestly!), and my 11 year old daughter is sitting at her desk doing some complicated origami, amongst the boys and noise.

So much has happened I feel overwhelmed at the very thought of recounting it all, thus why I haven’t been able to write. At. All.

On Friday the 19th of May, our family of 5 left Australia and moved to the UK.
The week after we arrived my beautiful dad-in-love left this physical existence, surrounded by all his children. It was a devastating and profound moment, to be able to witness the passing of someone I loved very much, from this life to the next.
We celebrated the man he was, life he lived and his lasting legacy in the amazing people he and his wife raised.
As surely as day follows the night, life carries on regardless of the hole left behind, in the shape of him.

We chose to stay and live here in Eastbourne and found a place to live that is so very different from the last house we lived in.
Our last abode had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a study, a back and front garden as well as a garage.
Our new home is a two bedroom flat with (thankfully) an ensuite as well as a main bathroom and a parking space. It is a short walk to the harbour, a beach (rocky beach – but I’ll take what I can get!), and if we walk a little further we can go to a selection of cafe/restaurants and shops. but if I really want to wear out my small people, we walk to a great park!
I’m also really thankful to live near my mum-in-love (3mins away!) and to live where we do.
I have been able to get up early and walk along the water (when I can drag my butt out of bed), feel the salty breeze in my face and the movement of my body.

Now that we are past the ‘setting up house’, and the ‘husband finding a job’ stages, life has settled down a little.
I am currently surviving the worlds longest school holiday everrrrrrrr.
The day we flew out of Australia, was the last time they attended school. We felt that it was important for our children to be settled into our new life before we threw them into school (which would have been impossible anyway!). Also being that the UK school year was weeks away from finishing, it would have been pointless. It is now ‘officially’ school holidays here in the UK, and by the time they actually go back to school they will have had a 4 month break.
Let me just say that again, I’m not sure you absorbed that information in its entirety – 4 months. 4 looooong months with three chatty, energetic kids.
Hence, my lack of writing. Three children, 2 bed flat. All day. Every day.
I finish everyday tired from negotiating hostile situations, sorting out arguments, walking and walking and walking, answering a MILLION question, listening to the telling of endless stories, thinking of things to keep them busy and all the while teaching them to not stomp around the flat. Did I give birth to little elephants?? I’m sure the couple who live down stairs think so!
But, I do get to go exploring with them and do fun things, just rarely the opportunity to do my kind of fun things.
Is it wrong that I can’t wait till they all go to school in September??

Today I made a decision.
Today I threw away the idea that I can only write if I am alone in the house, or out somewhere else without any little people.
Now that my mind isn’t so full of to do lists and setting up our flat, I have been finding it brimming instead with writing ideas.
My brilliant husband who understands my need of occasional solitude, has taken them all out a few times so I can write in peace.
But today I decided not to wait until the conditions were right, to write. I can still work on my story in my mind while I make sandwiches or build that pillow fort for the twentieth time (it’s raining today), and let my fingers fly across the keys in the moments when I can.
They will learn to give me space to write, and I will learn to work on my story in my mind until I can sit and write it down.
I’ll stop making excuses as to why I can’t, because actually I can…..

Just get on with it.

Just write it!