Carrie Baker – The Growth Collective

You are constantly changing, whether you want to or not. You can choose how you grow, or allow your life to shape you. The choice is yours.

– Carrie Baker

When I was growing up and going through a certain stage of life, I can clearly remember my mum telling me that I had a choice to control my feelings. I didn’t believe her, nor did I want to curb my changeable emotions. I wanted to be free to feel my feelings, to the detriment of my family, I’m sure.

Then as I got older, I heard similar things; that I had a choice over most things in my life.

We can’t control people, and definitely not all of our circumstances. But what we do get a choice in, is how we respond to those situations outside of our power to control. We have more say over our life that we always understand or recognise.

We also have a choice in how we grow. You are not the same person you were 5 years ago, or even a year ago. It may feel that you’re the same person, but just the simple act of living and breathing means that we are constantly changing. Our cells die and grow again inside of us, so that every seven to ten years, all of our cells have regenerated, which means you are basically a whole new you!

Over the course of your life, you become many different versions of yourself. My husband has had many wives, because I have been many versions of myself over the years. (I hope that each version is a better, upgraded version than the last!)

In recent years, in my maturing (read that as getting old), I have become aware of this ever-changing me because of my desire to be all I am created to be. I realised, when looking back over past years and seasons of my life, I had allowed life to happen to me, thereby also shaping me into versions of myself I wasn’t always happy with or proud of.

Every choice you make, shapes your future self.

Read that line over again. How does that make you feel? I remember hearing something similar to this a number of years ago, for the first time. I remember feeing the sudden and heavy weight of that responsibility, settle itself around my shoulders.

John C Maxwell, who is a pastor, speaker and author of many books on leadership, says: “Life is a matter of choices, and every choice, makes you.”

I can look back over my life and see the choices I made, some I regret, a lot I’m ok with and others I’m not proud of. I can see where they did shape the various versions of myself.

Tony Robbins in his article about controlling your destiny, talks about the need to let go of the past, he writes “Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give to it. Will you give your past a meaning filled with hurt and pain, or will you realize that it’s what made you who you are today?” (You can read the full article here.)

In order to move forward we need let go of the past, by giving it the right meaning can help you do this. Have grace for yourself and the person you were, because all those decisions have made you into who you are right now. Accepting this current version of you, as a person on a journey like everyone else, is also accepting the past as it was. Doing this, is an important part of your growth.

We are all on a journey.

I don’t personally know anyone who is completely happy with who they are right now. Because we are human, and imperfect creatures, we are predisposed to reach for better versions of ourselves. We all do this in different ways; some meditate, others take courses, they start running, practice yoga, listen to podcasts, or read self-help books… the list goes on.

I do some of the above, but the place I go for the best life wisdom and growth, is my bible. I’m trying to shape the person I am becoming with God’s help. If you have a faith, you may have read the part in the bible that talks about the fruits of the spirit. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” Galatians 5:22-23. I long to be more of all of these.

As an example of one thing I am working on, is to be less of the person who mutters names to other drivers under her breath, and more of the kind of person who has patience and thinks the best of others. Because of my faith, I go to the bible which is full of wisdom. It is my go-to book on how to make good decisions and changes in my life.

Hope or Fear?

“May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears.”

Nelson Mandela

How many of the choices in your life are made out of fear instead of hope?

I would definitely rather hope be the place from which I make my life’s choices, but let’s be honest for a moment, none of us can say this is how it is most of the time.

I have a post-it on my wall, that says ‘What would you do, if you weren’t afraid?’ I ask myself this question every now and then and write about it in my journal. If I took the fear away, what would I do? Well, I would stop worrying about the ‘what-if’s’ and just go and do the thing already!

These words remind me regularly that fear, (which is only a feeling) is sometimes the only thing that stands in the way of me reaching for that goal or chasing that dream.

When we feel that fear, we are faced with a choice; listen to the fear, that says “What if you fall?” and let it stop you. Or, you can choose not to listen and grab a hold of hope that says “But what if I fly?”

Let’s get practical:

You know that I am a practical girl who’s all about moving forward and getting stuff done; so let’s dive into some a few practical ways you can shape your growth and be the person you hope to be.

Write a vision statement:

I love a vision statement. I like to see things in writing so I can read it back, and keep myself on task. What is the vision statement for your life, or for your future self?

To give you an idea of a vision statement, this is mine: ‘To help others to live the life they were created for.’ I love to see people live in their full potential. Everything I do is working towards that vision statement. This includes me too, l am growing towards that ‘full potential’ future version of myself.

Know where it is you are aiming for:

Who is it you want your future self to be? Ask yourself the question, allow time to really sit with it, and let your imagination visualise it. How will you get from here to there? What would the road to that destination look like?

As with any journey, you need a road map to where you are going. A map, or a plan, will keep you moving in the right direction. Going on a long journey without a map, will be fraught with wrong turns and frustrating deviations. When was the last time you travelled from one point to another, not quite knowing how to get there, but just set out and hoped for the best? You wouldn’t really do it that way.

You don’t have to know every step of the way, but having a plan in place, even if you need to make adjustments, is better than getting lost on the way. When you feel like you need to recalibrate your plans, just come back to your vision statement and see if you are still heading in the right direction.

Make some goals:

Do you like goals? Goals are great at helping you to move forward and to see growth in your life where you want to. When you set and achieve those goals, one by one, you will feel the elation of success every time.

When you do have a win, when you ace a goal you set for yourself, celebrate it! I have a post-it on my wall that says, ‘Small wins, create confidence.” (Dr Benjamin Hardy spoke about this in one of his YouTube videos). The wins do create confidence, it shows you that you can do these things, and it encourages you to set goals a little bigger than the last.

These goals can be like planning each leg of your journey. Each goal set and achieved will take you certain distances along the way. If you’re new to this whole ‘goal setting thing’, try making a small one to begin with. For me right now, it looks like writing one blog post a week consistently. My next goal will be to do that each week and consistently make time to work on my new thing, and so on.

This will look different for you, I can’t wait to hear what your goals will be!

When you know where you are going, you are better able to make the choices that will get you there. You won’t get it right all the time, but you will learn from your mistakes, and you will still grow.

To recap:

• A vision statement will help to know where you are going.

• A plan of where you are going will help you get from here to there.

• Goals will help you grow and take you through each leg of the journey.

I hope this blog post has encouraged you and challenged you to grab hold of those reigns, and take charge of shaping the person you are becoming, one choice at a time.

I would love for you to share this with friends and on your social media pages. Before you go, give my post a like, or even better, leave me a comment! I love to hear from you (my community) and your comments.

I am here, to champion your personal growth, encourage your goals, and cheer you on as your reach for your dreams. You can do this.

You can find all the places I hang out here.

Sending you love, friend

Carrie xxx

Photo Credit :: Pixaby / Unsplash