If you have ever felt a deep desire to do something that felt BIG, but something stopped you, you need to read this today.
In a recent email to my community, I started a conversation about what the Lord is growing within me. I asked my community about what the Lord is growing in their life, and I described it as almost like being ‘pregnant’ with the God-given desires the Lord has created within us.
At the end of our conversation, I left them with 3 questions to reflect on.
In this blog post, I want to pick up on one of those questions, because I think it’s an important topic to give some time to.
What has been stopping you?
There are many reasons we could give for what is stopping us, and I could write a long shopping list of my own. Apart from external reasons; the physical or the ‘life stuff’ that stops us, I wanted to tackle some of those reasons in our conversation today.
Most of our own reasons come down to just a small handful of root fears, and everything else is just a variation on these:
1. The Worthiness Gap
“Who am I to do this?” Does this sound familiar? What we are looking at here is a worthiness gap, not a skill gap. I know I’ve said this to myself many times… how about you?
You might say ‘who am I to do this’ out of a place of feeling like you aren’t qualified, knowledgeable enough, or just good enough to do what you feel a deep longing or desire to do.
Or maybe you believe that feeling like you want to do this, seems like you’re being prideful to think you can just go and do this thing. Sometimes we can all hide behind a kind of false humility and we tell ourselves that to pursue this would be seen as being proud.
Or it might even be that you struggle with the thought of taking up space, when you might believe you should just learn to be content. The world likes to try and tell us what our place in the world should be, especially us Christian women.
Here’s what the Lord actually says about that:
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb… your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
If the Lord has created those inner most parts, those Godly desires and longings, then they are ordained by the Creator of all things – for a purpose. For His own good plans purposes for your life.
2. Waiting to Feel Ready
“I am afraid of doing this imperfectly, in public.” So many of us, (definitely including me) wait for the moment we feel ready, but that feeling never arrives. We will never actually feel ready.
You might also think you need more training, more certainty, or even more confirmation – because you think that starting visibly and very imperfectly feels riskier than never starting at all. So often, this can be mistaken for wisdom (“I’m just being prepared”) when it’s really a form of self-protection.
The ‘fear of man’ or of what others think of us, is a big reason many of us don’t begin. We don’t want to look foolish or to be embarrassed by our early attempts.
This is the truth that comes against that fear:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)
So many times it say in the bible; ‘do not fear’, ‘fear not’, ‘or do not be afraid’ – it’s almost as though the Lord knew we would need a daily reminder. To fear means that we aren’t trusting the Lord, but He has given us a Spirit ‘of love, power and a sound mind’.
Just begin, as imperfectly as it needs to be – despite who may or may not be looking on – and let the Spirit of God give you all you need.
3. Waiting for a Sign
“I am waiting until I get the permission I need.” How many times have you waited for someone; a husband, a parent, a close friend, a pastor, a mentor or God via an unmistakable sign – to hand you the permission you feel you need?
How often do you do this, rather than trusting that the desire itself, might already be the Lord calling you into something?
Yes, there is wisdom in seeking God, but you can fall into the realms of disobedience when the Lord has already put this on your heart, or you have heard from Him but you wanted a bigger sign or another confirmation from somewhere else.
Look at how the calling can actually come:
“Now the Lord said to Abram, ‘Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.’” Genesis 12:1 (NIV)
If you remember the beginning of Abraham’s story, when he was still Abram, and the Lord called him to go; Abram didn’t get a full map first. The calling came before he had the clarity. He didn’t wait for more signs, confirmation or more understanding. Abraham listened to the voice of God, he began walking and trusting that the One who called him, would do what He promised and show him the way to go.
You don’t have to keep waiting for more permission for what the Lord has already asked of you. The Lord also promises that He will show you the way, you just need to trust Him with each step after your first faith-filled one.
4. The Guilt of Wanting Something for Yourself
“I feel guilty for wanting to do this when I already have so many responsibilities.” Sometimes you know exactly what you want to do, but you feel that wanting it for yourself is selfish, when you see it next to the needs of your children, marriage, church, responsibilities or work. So out of your feelings of guilt, your desire gets slowly starved rather than actively refused.
You might feel that you are wrong for wanting this, when there are so many other people or things in your life that demand your attention. Because as women we are really good at putting everyone and everything else ahead of us.
Here’s what He promises instead:
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 (NIV)
So if we delight ourselves in the Lord, and He DOES give us the aligned desires of our heart, what do we do then?
We accept the gift that He has given us, and we steward it well. And just like you show up at work and do a good job within your responsibilities, you show up to your ‘Kingdom work’, and be obedient to the work the Lord has created you to do.
5. It Didn’t Work the First Time
“I am afraid of trying again.” There are some of us who tried before and it didn’t work out, or wasn’t received well, and we have decided (often unconsciously) it’s safer not to try or hope that big again.
If that’s you too – I’m sorry. It’s so hard to try again, after what may have felt like a failure. But here is the thing I have had to learn; we have permission to fail as many times as it takes, to do what we feel the Lord is calling us to.
In fact, it’s not failure until you stop trying altogether. The times before the success are all preparation. In learning to get up and try again, you gain the wisdom you need, as well as strength and confidence. So that when you arrive at finally doing the thing you desired, you have a strong foundation already built in your life. This solid foundation will enable you to carry what has gone from desire to reality.
The Lord has something to say about what comes next:
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness.” Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)
Just because you failed once, even though you were sure that it was what you were called to do – you have to keep going and trusting what He is doing in it all.
Often these times can feel like you are taking steps backward instead of forward and where you feel you’re meant to be headed. But the road the Lord leads you along is rarely a straight path with no twists or turns.
Trust that the Lord IS doing a new thing, you just have to keep going.
If I had to gather all five points into one sentence, I’d say it’s that almost every version of “what’s stopping me” really comes down to this: “I don’t fully believe I’m allowed to want this and pursue it.“
But the Lord has given us these desires – and He continues to give us the gifts and skills to carry them out. Reminding our heart of His truth, and speaking it over our situation, will help in the moments these thoughts and doubts come up again. And they will come up again.
These desires and longings you have, aren’t for you alone. They’re part of the Kingdom work the Lord planned for you in advance, to continue what He has already begun in the earth. Who He has created you to be, and the desires He has given you – they’re both part of the larger tapestry of His making.
And this is what I really want you to hear: you were never meant to carry this alone, or in your own strength. He has given you a Helper. And in Him, nothing is impossible.
Which one of these five statements did you recognise yourself in?
Sit with that one this week – write down the lie, and write the truth right next to it and keep speaking that truth over your life.
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You are created to do good work friend. I hope these words have given you courage and truth for the hard days, and reminded you that you are not doing this alone.
See you soon, friend.
Carrie x
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